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Think about an aspect of your life story and rewrite it, telling the tale from another angle or perspective. For example, if your family always considered you to be a difficult teenager, write about other interpretations of your behavior. Or if you’ve always been considered successful, write about the fear of failure that lurks beneath the facade. Find a way to reconstruct an aspect of your personal narrative that explores the complexity of who you are.

 

“She’s nice and all…but she’s really quiet.” That’s what they would write in the 5th grade slam book about me. If there were a slam book, that is. Those are the words that would float around in the theoretical slam book of life. I was in the double digits, dammit, and I didn’t even have a good slam against me. What would that say about me? Other girls had “Cool” and “Hot” and “Sporty” and other Spice Girl-alias like terms to describe them, along with a list of guys they’ve kissed during rousing parent-in-the-other-room-monitored games of spin the bottle played at family super bowl parties. I had never even been to a party before—my time instead being holed up in my room reading the Michelle Tanner novel series. I squealed with delight when I noticed that Mary Kate and/or Ashley donned a pink dress that I owned on the cover. In this particular issue, Michelle is bummed because all it said in her class’s slam book was that she was a good speller. She was in the double digits, dammit, and all her classmates could say about her was that she was a good speller?!  I think I’m a good speller too, but not enough for that to be my only quality but at least it’s descriptive! “Quiet” means nothing, and that pesky “nice” is outright insulting. How dare they think that about me?!  I’ll make my mark in that book of life one day, and that day begins today…

 

“Jamie buys all her clothes at the flea market,” Stephanie whispered behind my back. I looked down at my pea-green leggings and green striped sweater. I distinctly remember my mom purchasing those leggings in the clearance section at Kids R’ Us and the sweater I got as a gift for Christmas. My outfit was not only NOT purchased at a cheap flea market, but was much nicer than what she had on. In a Catholic school, dress down days came once in a blue moon, and you always wanted to make sure you wore your coolest, most in-style outfit you begged your mom to buy for you. Being a rather poor kid in a private school located in one of the richest towns in Westchester made that a little difficult, but I made do with what I had. Who was Stephanie to talk, anyway? Last year during the big children’s Easter mass I had on a beautiful Easter Parade-esque dress and bonnet from Lord & Taylor while she showed up in a tie-dye shirt and jeans and picked her nose for 40% of the mass. At least I knew when to dress up and how to do it in style.

 

“Yeah, she said all of your clothes are from there because your family’s too poor to go shopping anywhere else,” my friend Julia confirmed that what I heard was true. Anger coursed over my body. I thought of going over there and setting her straight and letting her know exactly where my outfit was from, and about the Abercrombie and Fitch shirt I purchased over the summer. (Sure, it was an irregular-sized A&F shirt from the flea market, but she didn’t have to know that.) Maybe a good portion of my clothes were from the flea market, but at least I had style. I gathered my thoughts and turned to Julia, “I should punch her in her stupid face!” I said, as I made a fist with my tiny, weak hand. Then the bell rang and break was over, and it was time to study vocabulary. The battle was soon forgotten when Stephanie would be last in line behind me during the spelling bee, rooting me on…  “She kept touching me, and made me nervous. That’s why we lost,” I’d explain to my friends later when I blanked during the last round. “She didn’t win either, so whatever.”

 

I realized that it would be hard for people to think of me any other way than “quiet,” but it didn’t matter, and “nice” wasn’t so bad after all. Maybe “buys all her clothes at the flea market” would be my description in the slam book of life, but at least that means I’m resourceful. And if anyone complemented my style and found out where my clothing came from, I could be a fashion trailblazer for the lower middle class. At least they couldn’t have me down as “a good speller,” maybe “kind-of good,” but that would be downright silly. I could rest easy knowing that I had once again had something in common with Michelle Tanner, and this time, I may have even had something better.

New Year’s Resolution

January 3, 2013

One of my resolutions is to write more so that’s why I’m writing this.

‘Til next time!

Ok, I’m just kidding. But I’ve decided to exercise my writing on a more regular basis, even in short spurts for only about 20-30 minutes at a time. The lovely people at Poets & Writers have a great Tools for Writers section, and in it they include weekly writing prompts for a poetry, fiction and creative non-fiction. I’m going to try my best to do one a week and update it on here. Just wanted to give a little background before I jump into it, so everyone’s on board and knows what’s going on. It looks like it should be fun!  I suggest giving it a try if you’re looking to keep up with your writing. Even if it’s only a paragraph at a time, it’s still something. And so, without further ado (Gee, I say that a lot, don’t I?) …

The Worst! Tomorrow!

August 5, 2012

The Worst! Tomorrow!

Are your Mondays just feeling a little too Monday-ish? Well allow us to change that by starting your work week off by coming to The Worst! tomorrow night at Goodbye Blue Monday!

What’s The Worst!? You might be asking, and why would I want to attend anything that’s already telling me it’s The Worst!? Well cool your jets, little buddy, and stop jumping to conclusions. Here’s a little info on The Worst!:

The Worst! is a hilarious evening of writers, musicians, and other weirdos telling stories about the worst jobs, roommates, and dates they’ve ever had. The Worst! started on March 29, 2012 in California by Cassie J. Sneider, author of Fine Fine Music, storyteller, and dare I say it, rock and roll legend. It’s back this time in good ole New York, with even more stories from even more stellar people:

Cassie J. Sneider (the adorable author of Fine Fine Music)
Andy Animal (the heavenly voice of Stalkers)
William Benton (guitarist for The Phantom Family Halo)
Topher Gross (stylist to the stars)
and….ME?!!!

That’s right, I’ll be joining this lineup of talented, beautiful people (no, I’m not sure how I managed to wriggle my way into this one) for a night of laughter, love and, hopefully not but maybe just a little lice. Come, listen! Laugh! Enjoy! What’s The Worst! that could happen?!

The Worst! is taking place at Goodbye Blue Monday, 1087 Broadway, Brooklyn, New York 112211 tomorrow night (Monday, 8/6 at 8 PM. For any further info, feel free to message me.)